I awoke with a very heavy heart actually crying with some issues on my mind. There were some people that I had some unfinished business with and it was not going to be pretty. FORGIVENESS is serious business and it calls you to mature in ways that you don’t want to but you have to. I hate it when God wants me to do something that I have determined in my heart – to bury and let it go. I don’t want to deal with the “messiness” of my heart especially when I feel that I’ve done nothing wrong.
I got up and wiped the tears from my eyes that continued to come and I asked why??? I began to wonder if the person on my heart was in trouble and if I just needed to pray. I hoped that was it. But no! The memories started to come and I stomped my “little girl” foot and could not see me moving past my anger. It didn’t start off as anger – it started off as hurt. I was pissed off and I had every right to be. I thought I did. When the Spirit of the Lord starts to open that drawer with all of that junk that we toss aside – the dust starts kicking up and lost things start to be found.
In order to progress, to move ahead in life – some attitudes and rights have to be relinquished. One of them is my expectations of myself, people and circumstances. God blesses obedience and Faith moves Him. Hebrews 11:6 – without Faith it is impossible to please God. Without the faith that He provides and the trust that ALL things are working for our good – no matter how painful, it is impossible to please Him. Holding onto a hurt, a grudge or nursing a wound and rehearsing it is detrimental to my ability to move forward. Lay aside every weight and every sin that so easily besets me so that I can run this race with endurance.
No one in a race that wants to win straps on a backpack filled with bricks or ties weights to their ankles. Athletes train themselves to remove as much fat and flab as possible and then to put on a suit that will enable them to run as light as possible. The same for this race that He has given us. Bitterness is a weight, hurt is a weight, unforgiveness is a weight that burdens the soul and becomes a stumbling block and slows us down in this journey.
I find that when I am obedient in what I am instructed to do, cast my cares, lay aside, forgive, submit to God – resist the devil – my feet become lighter and my path straighter. So making some calls, sending some messages in order to lay it all out in the open is a dreaded task, but I cannot tell you how renewed I felt afterwards. Being in any fire that God allows it is to burn off the toxins that need to be released so that we will come out shining like pure gold and that His image can be seen a little clearer in us by those that are watching.
So my advice to those that are really “running” – take hold of God’s hand as He walks us through the necessary steps over rugged terrain so that we can let go of what is in our hands that is weighing us down. It also opens our hearts and hands to receive what He has for us – but we have to be emptied first.